Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Graduation....

What can I say? I'm done! I am officially a high school graduate. Today was an interesting day...I woke up, showered, then went to school to deliver gifts to my teachers which was probably one of the weirdest parts of the day. When I got to school it already didn't feel like my school. I parked in the visitors spot, and when I asked Melissa if it was ok, she said "well yeah..you are basically a visitor now anyway." And that's when it hit me, Cypress isn't mine anymore. It just didn't feel the same as it used to. When I got home, I was starting to get some graduation anxiety, I went to Nikki's and she was feeling the same. We were both a little freaked that we were actually graduating in a few hours, so we tried to calm ourselves down with simple conversation. I don't really know how much it worked. We stalled until it was time to start getting ready which is when I was feeling a rush of emotions. I was sad, happy, excited, overwhelmed, scared, freaked....the list goes on. Em came over to help me get ready and help calm me down since she was coming to graduation. All the while, courtesy of Isabell I was listening to some calm music, namely "Comes and Goes in Waves." Finally it was time to go to Western and I started to feel a little nervous. I got there and found Nikki right away, we put on our caps and gowns and started taking a few pictures. When it was time to go wait in the gym, we found our spots and waited for what seemed like forever in the heat. Of course today was the first day the sun has come out in about a week now. I think the waiting was the worst, because my anxiety kept building up. I'm not sure how long we waited, but when we started walking I began to feel nervous like I do when I perform in front of people, which is weird because usually if I am in a group, I don't get nervous. The ceremony was surprisingly very short. It felt like no time had passed when we had to get up to get our names called. When we stood up and started walking I literally had butterflies in my stomach, I mean, I don't know why, it wasn't like I had to do anything but walk. I think it was just knowing that I was graduating. But it was weird actually being the ones on the field wearing the blue gown and the funny square hat. It was something that I have always seen, but never really pictured myself doing, and here we are, I was one of those people. Afterwards it was like a paparazzi was following me around. Literally every second I turned around I had a camera in my face to capture every last moment. Finding family, friends, or anyone else was crazy in the midst of the sea of people, but it worked out in the end, and I found most of the people I wanted to take pictures with besides two. We went to dinner, and now I am home anticipating grad night. I am a high school grad, and it feels weird. I'm not sure how surreal it is yet. I just can't believe I'm done. I can't believe I am not a part of the public school system anymore, I can't believe I won't be lumped into all the k-12 statistics anymore. I can't believe I am done with the mandatory education our nation requires....I can't believe this chapter in my life is closing. When I was little, high school felt like a world away....now it's gone. Everything about it is just a memory. No more will I wake up for school and drive down Orange, park in the parking lot and head to class. No more will I be walking from class to class during a seven minute passing period. No more will I go eat lunch in the quad with the people I've known since elementary. No more will I be at school and have so many restrictions placed upon me. No more will I actually have to be in class without a choice. I guess you could say it's freedom, but right now it's still too bittersweet, and a little more bitter than sweet. All that anticipation for something that just flew right by, I can't believe it's already over.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Last day of high school....

Well...today was our last official day at high school, it's bittersweet. The day went by faster than most, actually the week flew by. It didn't hit me until I was walking with Nikki to fourth period that it was our last time at school. I'm not sure how to describe how I feel because some part of me is jumping for joy, but the other is very apprehensive and a little sad to be leaving Cypress. As much as I said I didn't like it, it was home, and I am going to miss it. I never really thought about this day through my high school career, I mean, I've thought about graduation and how I will feel and tried to play it out in my head...but I never really took the time to think about the actual last day of a regular scheduled day at Cypress. I can't believe it is already time to say goodbye. Somehow I don't feel ready, or I guess I just don't feel like it's time to graduate yet. It feels like Monday will be yet another normal day at Cypress High and the week will go on as it has for so long now. It's weird to think that I technically won't belong at Cypress anymore, I mean, it will always be my school, but it's not really my school anymore which is a little discomforting. 
Anyway, this is my first post on a blog that will hopefully take me through the next four years when I will be posting the same thing about my last day of college.